I was stopped this morning at summer day camp by one of the head honchos.  Seems there was a little trouble last week involving my ex.  She asked me if my ex drove a certain vehicle.  I instantly heard little alarms go off in my head as I confirmed that it was his car. 

 

“Why?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know. 

 

“Because on his way in to pick up the girls last week he pushed a woman.”

 

“What?”  Please tell me I heard wrong.

 

“He shoved a woman out of the way to get in the building.  No excuse me or anything.  In fact, the woman even said you could have just said excuse me and he looked at her and said, No, I couldn’t.”

 

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, picked my jaw up off the floor and said, “I am so sorry.  Where was his wife?”

 

“She was with him.  She did say excuse me after the fact.”

 

Rolling my eyes, “That’s helpful.  Is the woman OK?”

 

“She’s fine, just really angry.”

 

Gee, can’t imagine why.

 

 

Believe it or not, I am actually fairly competent in the kitchen.  Might not be Rachel Ray, but I can hold my own.  I have good knife skills, can whisk and stir and measure and all that.  Which makes this even more stupid.

 

Have to back up a little.  My friend is in surgery as I write, so I’m watching her daughter.  While I was waiting for them to arrive, I was fixing my girls their favorite snack.  At least their favorite healthy snack.  Apples and peanut butter.  They’re both complaining how hungry they are and would I please hurry, blah, blah, blah.  I yelled, “OK!” over my shoulder just as I felt this horrible pain shoot through my thumb.  And I look down and there is blood everywhere (sorry, graphic).  And btw, apple juice really burns.

 

So I run over to the sink, and hold it under cold water while swearing a blue streak.  I think almost every one of the bad words came out of my mouth.  Fairly loudly.  I grab a papertowel, shut off the water and turn.  And Shannon is standing there.  Holding the phone out.  And she says, “Allie’s mom wants to know if Emma can have a playdate with her.”  I smack myself in the forehead, give Shannon the Mom Death look, and take the phone.  I very calmly talk to the mom (who doesn’t say anything about my potty mouth), set up the playdate and hang up.  I look at Shannon and say, “Perhaps if this happens again, you could cover the receiver when you bring me the phone.”  And she says, “Oooooh.  Mom, you’re dripping blood all over the floor.”  So I grab another papertowel, wrap it tightly around my finger and start looking for the band aids.  Can’t find any.   Look at my finger again, wonder if perhaps I need stitches, but then there is a knock at the door, I realize no it’s K and her mom, so no time.

 

Answer the door, welcome them in, talk with K’s mom, try to make her feel as comfortable as I can, promise to keep K safe and walk her outside to talk privately.  Tried to reassure her, but I don’t really think that worked.  Promised to have K call her after I pick them up today.  She gets in her car, and drives away.  I thank God for my health, turn around and see that I have left a trail from the house to where I am standing.  Once again ponder getting stitches, but think about the three girls in the waiting room and decide it’s not worth it.

 

Go inside, find a fingertip bandage finally, configure a kind of pressure bandage which seems to really slow it down, nearly stopped it in fact, and smile at my innovation.  So I go on about my business, although I have to say, I really like having two working opposable thumbs.

 

When I went to bed, I decided to remove the bandage and let air get to it.  Big mistake.  Suffice is to say, I am bleaching my sheets for the second time today.  However, I think I finally have it bandaged properly.  And I’m going to leave it alone.  At least for awhile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We went to see Mamma Mia yesterday.  We are huge musical fans in this house (must be cause we're a household of all girls). In retrospect, not a good choice for the kiddies, although they did love it.  But boy, did I have questions to answer.  Should have realized that when the previews showed a girl trying to figure out which of three men was her father.  Oh well.  But it is really good.  It's a great time.  Probably moreso from a chick perspective.  Christine Baranski is always fun to watch.  Really the whole cast is great.  But who knew Meryl Streep could sing?  Not a role I would have ever expected to like her in, but she really is fabulous.  So here she is, singing Dancing Queen.

 

Oh, Pierce Brosnan really can't sing......... but you gotta admire him for trying!

I received this the other day and thought it was worth sharing.

 

 

 

25 Tips for a Better Life

 

1.                  Take a 10-30 minute walk every day.  And while you walk, smile.  It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2.                  Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.  Buy a lock if you need to.

3.                  When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to ________ today.’

4.                  Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and less food that is manufactured in plants.

5.                  Drink green tea and plenty of water.  Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds and walnuts.

6.                  Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7.                  Don’t waste your energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.  Instead invest your energy in the positive, present moment.

8.                  Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9.                  Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

10.              Life is too short to waste time hating anyone or anything.

11.              Don’t take yourself so seriously.  No one else does.

12.              You don’t have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.  Nor do you have to prove that you are right.

13.              Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

14.              Don’t compare your life to others’.  You have no idea what their journey is about.

15.              No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16.              Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘in five years, will this matter?’

17.              Forgive everyone for everything (including yourself).

18.              What other people think of you is none of your business.

19.              GOD heals almost everything…and He can heal everything if it’s in His plan.  We just need to trust in him.

20.              However good or bad a situation, it will change.

21.              Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick or hurting.  Your friends will.  Stay in touch!!!

22.              Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need.

23.              Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: “I am thankful for ___________.  Today I accomplished _____________.

24.              Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25.              Think of your friends, then forward this to everyone you care about.

 

 

One of my co-workers comes out of one of the restrooms and says, “Maria, I think I found your bug.  He’s in the bathroom.  I think he’s dead.”  And this has been what, 5 days since his last sighting?  So I jump up from my desk and yell “R, she found it, it’s in the bathroom!” and she comes running in.

 

We both walk slowly to the bathroom door and I peek around, kind of like the SWAT team, right before they storm someplace.  And there it is lying on its back in the middle of the floor.  I sigh, relieved.  And then…….

 

It moved.  I screamed, whirled around, slammed into R, who then ran into our coat rack.  Our boss walked in at that moment and asked what was going on, and R blurts out, “There was with giant roach in the paper and S thought he killed it but he didn’t and it’s in the bathroom!”

 

He walks over, looks at it and says, “That’s not a roach, that’s a horned beetle.”  Like that makes it better.  Then, he walks over, PICKS IT UP, and throws it in the toilet.  And presto, he’s flushed away.  By this time everyone in the office is there.  Staring into the bathroom.  I looked at S and says, “So much for mortaling wounding it”.

 

Still don’t think I’m going to use that bathroom for awhile…..

One of the reasons I have not been around lately is I hurt my back.  Gee, what a shock.  Anyway, sitting to type has been extremely painful.  Plus not much in the way of excitement, since I’ve been spending a majority of my free time laying about.  But not to worry, I fixed it!  The way I fixed it is what’s so funny.

 

I was determined to go see fireworks with my kids.  No matter what.  We went to the park and met up with Stacy and her daughter K.  K is the one who is having open heart surgery next week.  More about them in another post.

 

Anyway…the girls all wanted to play at the park, so we set up our space and walked (Or in my case, hobbled) over.  There is this one thing there, it’s kind of hard to describe.  It’s kind of like two pipes shaped like a slide, only there’s an empty spaces in the middle where you would sit.  And it’s the most popular thing there.  The kids would go down either straddling it or hang and slide down by their armpits.  Which really looked like it hurt.  But I digress.

 

The kids are running around like lunatics, but amazingly, formed lines and waited patiently for the person in front of them to go.  And there was this one girl, about 8 or 9.  A little on the heavy side, still had that baby fat look about her.  I would guess she probably weighed about 100 lbs.  And she decides to go down dangling.  As she is getting on, I’m thinking, “Please don’t do this, please don’t do this.  You’re not going to fit and I don’t want you to get embarrassed”.  But of course, she can’t read my mind, so she climbs on and get stuck.  Really stuck. 

 

She starts saying “I need help.  Please.”  And I look around at all the other adults, and no one is moving. And I shake my head and think, “crap, this is gonna really hurt” and hobble over.  After assessing, I decided the only thing to do is lift her up enough so she can turn and then I can lower her to the ground.  I explain what we’re going to do, lift her, she twists free and I lower her to the ground.  And there is this pop in my back.  I freeze, terrified to move for a minute, then realize it doesn’t hurt!  And I can stand up straight.  And walk!

 

So now I’m fine.  How’s that for a reward for doing a good deed?