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    Always been a little backwards.

    Can't even do a dramatic exit.  Try this instead

    Looks like I'm outa here

    You can find me here from now on.

    A little girls dream come true

    The girls went to the Electric Lights parade downtown tonight with their father (ignore my jealousy that he took them, not me).  They just called me more excited them I've heard them in a long time.  They got to see Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Goofy and Pluto.  But that pales compared to  who they saw next.  They were so excited they could hardly spit it out.  They got to see the Cheetah Girls!  And apparently, out of all the millions of kids out there, Adrian waved directly at the girls and blew them  a kiss Eye-rolling
     
    Somehow, I think I'm probably lucky I got to stay home.

    Talk about a food coma

    ooooohhhhh.   I feel sick.  My coworkers bought me lunch for my birthday, my boss bought me a huge carrot cake and then my brother came over with yet another cake. It's a  good thing birthdays only come once a year. 
     
    I think I need to go to bed.......

    I always knew my clumsiness would come in handy

     

     

    It really helps to have experience in these things.

     

    Shannon, my incredibly smart daughter, did an incredibly stupid thing.  She thought she it would be fun to run between the swings at the playground as her sister and friend were swinging.  The first few times went well, but then, of course, she got cocky and careless.  And the friend slammed right into her, sending her airborne.  But it’s OK, she broke her fall with her face.  In the gravel.  So Emma comes running home, crying hysterically that Shannon’s face is bleeding really bad.  So I start running over to the park (who knew I could run so far?) and meet her and her friend about half way.  I walk her home while Emma and their friend go back to get the bikes.  Once home, I get her cleaned up, pick the gravel out (ick) and spray her with antiseptic, and give her some ice.  Her poor friend is so upset, even though I keep trying to reassure her there is absolutely no way this could be her fault (while giving Shannon the mom evil eye).

     

    So she looks just beautiful.  It’s too bad she didn’t do it before Halloween, we could have saved money on a costume.

     

    Then, yesterday, I was picking the girls up from daycare, and you know how sometimes things happen and you know it’s going to happen, but there’s no way to stop it in time?  One of those moments.  This little girl A, who’s one of Emma’s friends was running and collided with someone else during a game of something.  She fell to the ground.  No big deal, except there was a really large 5th grader right behind her who then tripped over her.  And he really tried to not land on her, which resulted in him stumbling across her and stepping on her hand.  A gets up screaming and holding her hand, and I looked at her and wondered why she was holding her hand at such an odd angle.  And all the supervisors are just standing around, looking at her.  Then I realize that she isn’t holding her hand at a weird angle, her ring finger, at the knuckle, is bent straight up.  I almost threw up.  I grabbed her, tried to hide her  hand from her, and quickly walked into the building, asking one of the supervisors to get her some ice.

     

    I look at her hand and the finger obviously is dislocated and really hurting her, so I take a deep breath, say “A, do me a favor.  Close your eyes and take a deep breath.”  She does and I push down on her finger really lightly to see if it will move.  And pop, it goes right back into place.  And I nearly threw up again.  But her pain subsided quite a bit with that.

     

    At this point one of the supervisors comes up and asks if she should call an ambulance.  And I suggest she call her parents instead.  Duh.  I take her into the kitchen, get two ice packs from the other supervisor, sit her down and put them on her hand on the counter so it’s above her heart.  .  I ask her if she would like me to stay and talk with her until her mom gets there and she says yes.  So we talk about the Jonas brothers, her Dad’s tattoo parlor (don’t ask) and Halloween, trying to distract her.  And meanwhile, the supervisors are milling about, doing absolutely nothing.

     

    Her mom arrives about ½ hour later and we talk and then they go off to the hospital.  The supervisor comes over and thanks me for helping and all I can think of is, “You’re supposed to be in charge of caring for my kids.  I’m not feeling too safe right now.”

    I've never heard of that pasta

    Conversation with Emma this morning at the convenience store.
     
    Me:  Ready, Spaghetti?
     
    Emma:  Don't call me spaghetti!
     
    Me:  Ok, would you prefer orrechetti or perhaps farfalle?
     
    Emma:  Don't call me fart on the leg!
     
    The cashier was laughing so hard I thought he might actually fall over.
     

    She had the time of her life

    Hi, my name is Maria and I am a recovering romantic.  It was inevitable really that I would be one, after all, my mother named me after the song in West Side Story in hopes that someone who someday feel that way about me.  Reality doesn't stand a chance against that.

    Anyway, life moved on as it does, and I slowly became more cynical and jaded.  But recently something happened that has given me the tiniest glimmer of hope.

    I work with a woman named Brooke who is easily one of the nicest people I have ever known.  She is from a small town in Southern Illinois and everything good that implies.  Brooke married her high school sweetheart (who is just as nice) and now has been married for 13 years.  One thing you should know about her is she is a huge Dirty Dancing fan.  Huge.  So when she saw a commercial some months ago about the play coming to Chicago she mentioned to her husband that she would love to see it.  She was convinced he would remember and get tickets.  And we were all convinced she would be disappointed.  Happily, we were wrong and he remembered, managed to get tickets and pay for them without her knowing and surprised her with them for their anniversary.  He even took care of finding a babysitter.  Now, because they have a small child and live more than 1 1/2 hours from the City, so this was a very special evening for them.  Her friends and family  joined in, hiring a limo to take them, and giving them dinner at a very nice restaurant near the theater.  Needless to say, this was a couple of weeks ago and she's still smiling. So maybe I won't hear strains from my favorite musical, but maybe romance isn't totally dead.

    My only question is: short of introducing her to Patrick Swayze himself, what could he possibly do to top that next year?

    The answer (and debris) is blowin' in the wind

    I'm so sad.  We had tremendous wind today.  The day started out nice enough - mid 50's, sunshine.  Coming home from Church I saw our neighbor's coffin (from his display) literally blowing apart.  I ran around gathering up pieces and putting it back on their lawn.  I then knocked on their door and by the time they answered, it had started blowing away again.  So they took it inside.  Later, I watched large branches rip free from the willows, as well as apples blowing off the apple tree, littering the lawn and park.  I heard a loud crack and opened the front door, saw nothing, then realized I could barely close the door.
     
    When the wind died down a little, I went outside (I heard my neighbor talking out in the yard) and it looked like a bomb had gone off.  Even the big arched doorway had been ripped down.  My huge planters were flipped over (and they're terra cotta - I can't even move them when their full).  All his hard work destroyed.
     
    Amazingly, he had a positive attitude about it.  He just took it all to his house and said he would put it back up when the weather improved.  I told him I would be happy to help.  Although I think he likes it being his "guy" thing.  Oh almost forgot, the temps dropped so much we got snow!  But at least it's supposed to be back in the mid 60's and sunny for Halloween.  First good Halloween in recent history????

    Talk about a long day

    So after 21 days, I finally called the doctor.  I was supposed to go to the doctor today.  But of course, the minute I called the doctor, I started feeling better.  So I canceled.  But I have it far better than this guy I know.  He has been sick since August. So I can't really complain.

    Interesting thing in the news today.  The head of the Lincoln museum was placed on administrative leave under suspicion of shoplifting.  Now while this on it's own is interesting and somewhat puzzling, I was going to write about the recent trip Shannon and I took to the Lincoln museum.

    That trip HAD to have won me some parent of the year points.  We had to be on the bus by 6:00am (which meant I had to get up at 4:30 since we also needed to pack lunches and snacks).  Because of that early rising time, Emma spent the night at a friends, which didn't go well at all. 

    Anyway, the trip is 4 hours.  On a bus (a charter bus at least).  There were supposed to be DVD players on all the buses, which there were, except for ours, so there went the movies.  It was really supposed to be a parent child bonding day, but I had an extra child (a parent who couldn't come), so that also didn't happen.  Our first009 stop was New Salem, where we got to see a partially recreated town where Lincoln lived.  The biggest hit was a horse who loved being petted so very much that if the kids stopped, he would stretch through the rails and nudge them until they petted him again.

     

     

    Next stop: the Lincoln Museum.  I was a little worried about how boring it would be, but it was really cool.  The entrance hallway opens into a large atrium with the Lincoln family standing in the middle.

    023 (Hmmm, the family seems to have acquired a couple of extras).

    Then, off to one side is a log cabin with Lincoln sitting out in front.      028

    When you walk through the log cabin, it winds around through scenes from his life up to when he was elected president. 

     

     

     

    Then you walk around back into the atrium again and there is the White House portico with Sojourner Truth, Grant and MacClelland and of course, John Wilkes Booth in front.

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    When entering the White House, you are in the Blue Room with one of Mary Todd Lincoln's dresses and several other society ladies dresses.  Then you walk into the room where they are sitting with their dying son (Tad?).  The next room is where the Emancipation Proclamation was drafted with everyone that was involved.  Then it gets just tragically sad.  You walk into a slave auction complete with whipping sounds and an auctioneer.  It was sad and horrible and startling and everything it should have been.  There are documents lining the walls, including one of the original copies of the 13th amendment (did you know there are only 13 surviving copies?  Weird).  More Civil War information and suddenly you're entering the Ford Theater.  And we all know what happened then.

    The best part of the museum was this show that I can't even describe.  It's part live show, part holographic imagery.  I can't even describe it.

    Our next stop was Lincoln's home in Springfield.047   When you tour, the guide points out that as you walk up the stairs, you are touching a piece of history, the very same railing Lincoln used. 

    Our last stop was a really bad restaurant and then back home.  We picked up poor exhausted Emma from our neighbor and got home at 11:00 p.m.  Getting the girls up for school the next morning was quite challenge, but I'd say, all in all, it was well worth it.

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    It's not that my life is boring.....After all, I have Pepe La Pew

    Just no time to write.  Or visit.  So to all my friends, I'm sorry.
     
    But I do have a good (well, maybe not good) excuse.  I've been sick.  FOR 18 DAYS.  It's just this nagging cold type thing, but it's really wearing me down. And it won't go away.  Most of the time no fever, occasionally low grade, never had anything like it. Crazy.
     
    In an effort to cure myself (and I have tried just about everything), I decided the other night that perhaps what I needed was some fresh air.  I went out on the deck and was looking up at the sky, trying to breathe deeply without coughing.  I heard a sound behind me and turned, only to see a very cute black and white creature less than 4 feet away from me. Apparently it didn't see me either, because when I tried unsuccessfully to stifle the noise coming out of me, it jumped, arched it's back, and lifted it's tail.  I didn't know I could stand that still.  It calmed down and went back to it's foraging and I very slowly backed over to the door and opened it as quietly as possible.  Which wasn't quiet at all.  I jumped through the door and slammed it just as it lifted it's tail again.  But it still didn't spray.  It just turned and waddled off as quickly as it could, leaving me to wonder how something so very cute could inspire such terror.

    Competition for Janet Jackson?

    Our class reunion was this past weekend, which is a story in itself.  But I have a different one to tell.

    My friend (who I will call Janet, and you'll see why in a minute) was my "date" for the evening.  She went out and bought a new dress for the evening.  A smut dress.  She most definitely has the body for it, so I can't say I blame her.

    So I called her on my way and she informs me she is having a wardrobe malfunction.  Apparently her zipper had jammed and she couldn't get it zipped up.  Then her boyfriend got it zipped up, but it separated and now she couldn't get the dress off!  After I stopped laughing and managed to steer the car back into my lane, we decided just to meet at the event.

    So off I went.  I got there and was talking with people and suddenly I realized that nearly an hour had passed and no Janet.  I called her cell and she told me she was on her way.  I asked her how she got out of her dress and she told me she hadn't, that her boyfriend had sewn her in.

    I think I was still laughing when she finally arrived.  And I was quite worried that the sewing job wouldn't hold.  But it did, even through the dancing.  Apparently it held so well she actually had to be cut out of it!

    More things that make you go hmmmmm

    I was sitting at the computer today, pondering my lack of interesting and amusing stories to share, when I looked up and saw a squirrel standing up on his hind legs looking in the deck door at me.  After a few seconds of him watching me watching him, he suddenly jumped straight up, grabmed the screen and started climbing.  Then he just hung there.  And hung there.  Then, he turned, climbed down and bounded away.
     
    Hey, at least I had something to write.

    I LOVE my neighbors

    The best part about having a neighbor who's favorite holiday is Halloween when you live in a townhouse?  Not having to do any decorating. Every day when I have come home from work there has been something new in the yard.  This first there was the cemetery entrance, then tombstones, signs, a fence, strobe light and black light.  Every day I can't wait to come home and see what's next.  Here's what we have so far (and it's much better in the dark, but I can't get a good photo).

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    And last night, as he was telling me how much more he wants to add, a great horned owl landed on the roof.  I tried to take a picture, but basically it's a black blob on a black background...oh well.

    A day (or two) in the life

    I took the girls to Target yesterday.  As we're walking out, I see our car's lights flashing on and off, like it's trying to signal me in Morse Code.  This has happened a couple times before, but that was after really severe rain.  We get into the car and turn off the automatic headlights and head home. 

    This morning was the first orchestra practice for Shannon, so we were headed out the door at 7:00 into the brisk 46 degree morning.  The car windows were covered with dew, so as I was pulling out, I turned on the windshield wipers and lowered the windows to clear them.  Then I heard this terrible noise come from my door and turned just in time to see my window disappear inside the door.  Completely.  I tried to put it back up.  Nothing. 

    Well, I have no time to worry about this, so we head over to the school in our now breezy car, while Emma keeps saying, " Mom, put the window up!"

    I then drive Emma over to our neighbor who normally drives her to school, and when she answers the door, I get that sinking feeling.  She's in her pj's.  And sick.  So now I have to take Emma to work with me for a half hour, then turn around and take her back to the school.  In the well air conditioned car.  As I'm walking to the school door with Emma, she says, "I think I'm going to cry" and she bursts into tears.  I look at her and say, "Please don't cry Emma!" And we walk off to the side to get her calmed down.  Then I head back to work.

    When I get to work, I call the garage about my car (which thank God is literally right around the corner from work) and they say they can look at it, but only if I bring it over right now. So I leave AGAIN and go drop off my car.  And walk back to work.  They eventually call me and tell me it will be $400.00 to fix.  Of course.  Because it's not like I can drive around with an open window in the winter.  I mention the lights and ask them to check that out.  Why not?

    Near the end of the day I call the garage and they tell me the mechanic has stepped out but needs to talk to me.  Which cannot be good.  I explain that if my car isn't ready I really need to make some arrangements. So they tell me to come over.  I get there and the car is ready, but they can't find anything wrong with the lights.   And they tell me just to keep an eye on it. So I roll my eyes and head off.

    Oh, and when I told one of my co-workers about the lights flashing, she told me it was my car trying to communicate with me.  Seriously.

    Well, this explains alot

    I just read an article that claims Chicago is the most highly stressed city in the United States.  Hmmmm.  Everyone I see usually looks pretty happy.
     
    I wonder if I can use that as a crabbiness excuse...

    Killer seems much more appropriate

    Well, I think it’s safe to say that Bart the Bird does not love me anymore.  He attacked me Saturday.  Like, flew across the room attacked me.  Fortunately I saw him coming and was able to swear and drop into bear attack defense position (curled up, covering my face and head).  But a little background information is necessary to make this totally make sense.

     

    My mom flew into town for the first time in 10 years.  My brother and I have a rather strained relationship with her, so everyone was a little on edge.   She was staying with me, so I took her over to my brother’s at lunch to get together and show off his house, etc.

     

    Bart was his normal obnoxious self, but really, he was fine.   So my brother put him up on his shoulder and took him over to the table.  No big deal.  I was in the kitchen and when I walked in I saw there wasn’t a lot of space for me to get by, so I decided to walk around the room the long way just to be safe.  But stupidly, it put me very close to his “territory”.  I saw him take off towards me, I screamed and curled up the best I could.  I felt him land on my back and the next thing I knew, he had grabbed me by the ear.   And OMG, did that hurt.  I was trying to pry his beak off of me and was just about to grab him by the neck when my brother got him off.  Less than 10 seconds total. So now the girls are crying and I just quickly put my hand over my ear, really not sure if he had hurt me badly or not.  I just kept saying, “I’m OK, I’m OK” to the girls as I walked to the bathroom (followed by a parade of people, which I really didn’t need right then).  So I take my hand down and really, it’s not bad.  The ear is swollen and red, and there is a definite hole from his beak which is bleeding, but it didn’t go all the way through and there is nothing missing.  The back side is torn up, but I can’t see that, and my ear is going numb, so I’m not really that upset.  But my mom is going on and on about how I should have just killed Bart, how dangerous he is, blah blah blah, and I looked at her and said, “Why would I kill something that is so important to him?”

     

    I just felt really bad for my brother.  He was so upset.

     

     But, a little peroxide and neosporin and I'm almost as good as new. I now call Bart Killer and I just won’t go in if he’s not locked up.

    I bet you’re jealous cause I have so many parent of the year awards!

     

     

    Shannon told me a story about school when we were driving home yesterday.  She had a class writing assignment and had to write a story about her favorite vacation.  She raised her hand and said, “But I’ve never been on vacation.”  

     

    At least I made it home and into the bathroom before I started crying.

    I'm even better than I thought!

    Remember when I forgot to put the money under Emma’s pillow and had to sneak it under during the day?  Well, this little boy at the after school program was telling her that it was her parents that put money under the pillow, not the toothfairy.  And Shannon walks over and says, “Oh yeah? Well, then how did the money get put under Emma’s pillow while we were at Walmart?  My mom couldn’t be in two places at once.”

     

    The poor boy had no answer.

     

    And my brother and Bart are fine-no flooding!

    Sunshine on my shoulder

    Yea, no rain!  Rainfall total for our town - 9.09 inches in slightly over 24 hours.  Gee, no wonder we had flooding.  This morning driving to work it was just block after block of carpeting and furniture lining the streets.  That big river that threatened to push me into the river also went through a bunch of homes and filled basements to ground level.  And today, it was only a trickling stream.  I haven't talked to my brother yet, I'm really hoping he's not swimming around his basement....

    It's raining, It's pouring

    It has been raining here for two days.  Non-stop.  No hurricane, no high winds.  Just rain.  I didn't even want to leave my house today. But I was supposed to have lunch with a friend of mine who is 89 years old and you don't just blow off someone who's 89.  then I was going to another friend's house and we were going to Ikea. 

    I heard this morning that there was quite a bit of flooding and that they even closed one of the expressways, and when I looked outside, there were streams of water everywhere.  Swell.

    So I got into the car and started driving toward her house.  About half way there, I'm going around a curve in the road and I realize there is a line of cars heading towards me, in my lane. The road, which is a four lane road with a turn lane, is almost completely flooded.  I squeeze through on the shoulder and continue on my way.  I meet up with my friend and go to lunch.  And it's still raining.  Hard.  Hmmm. Maybe Ikea isn't such a good idea.  I call my friend and ask her if she minds postponing, then head home.  The area that was partially flooded is now completely covered.  Being thankful that I have a Jeep, I crawl through.  I stop at the grocery store, and as I'm checking out, it begins to rain so hard, everyone waiting in line looks up at the ceiling.  I wade through the parking lot back to my car, by now looking like I have just stepped out of the shower.

    I drive home, cross the river which is well over it's banks and as I'm driving along next to the river, I have to go through a couple of areas that are flooded.  The problem is, the water in the sewers is lower than the river so the water is actually coming back up through the sewers.  Then I see a really flooded area up ahead.  I watch the truck in front of me slowly wade through and decide I can go too.  Just as I enter the water, I hear this lyric on the radio "Just turn the car around".  Wow.  This is about the time I realize that  1. my Jeep is not a high as the truck in front of me and the water is higher than the bottom of my door, and 2. I have been so intent on watching the truck in front me me, I hadn't noticed the the incredibly wide river of water coming down the hill directly at the side of the car.  I look to my right and all I can think is, great, I'm going to be swept into the river and I'll be one of those stupid people they show on the news being rescued from the top of their car.  Which obviously did not happen.

    So I went home, got drenched again taking in the groceries, and now as I sit typing, it finally stopped raining.  More tomorrow tho, when the leftovers of Ike get here